Parenting isn’t an easy task. A kid enters your life and suddenly the focus shifts to all things baby related. Your love life can go for a toss. Baby eats, sleeps and poops – this infinite cycle continues. Whoever says opposite of this is obviously lying. Ask any couple with a new born or toddler!
From my own experience, first three months after childbirth were a blur. Trying to learn the ropes of motherhood, taking care of your own health and maintaining the relationship – everything seems daunting. You might feel guilty if are out with your spouse for us-time & also feel guilty of ignoring your spouse if all your time is spent with the kid.
How to revive your love life?
Do not base your relationship on assumptions. Never assume that the other person will always understand what you want by your silence. Being vocal is the key! If you want break from parenting duties, tell your partner & give them some chores like bottle feeding, burping or putting baby to sleep . If you want some shopping to be done, add it your partner’s grocery list.
Do not be aggressive or keep tab on every action. Our relationships can go for a toss if we start keeping pointers for everything. Baby item shopping, laundry duty or cooking – all these are chores equally done by both the partners. This is especially important if you are in a nuclear setup without any external help. Having simple chore list and rotating it fortnightly is a good way. This trick has been very useful during lockdown with no maids around to help. 🙂
Plan date nights without the kid. Having some couple time is a bonus to keep the romance alive. You can either plan for a lunch date when kid is under care of someone trustworthy. If not lunch, then takeaway dinner at home after kid sleeps is also a good idea. Cuddle together on the sofa, watch TV or just talk – any common interests are good to begin with.
Never influence kids to take side in an argument. Avoid confrontation in front of the kid, no matter how small. A distressed child will lead to stressed relationship.
Ask for help! If you are too over burdened by the parenting duties, ask a family member for help. A support system on whom you can fall back to take some time off and focus on your relationship. If that’s not feasible, then hire help to take over some of the household duties and free your time to spend with each other.
These are few of my own personal experience which have helped us rekindle romance in our relationship. How did you manage to keep your love life alive after having kids? Share your secret of healthy relationship with us in comments.
If you find these tips helpful, then do share with your family and friends. 🙂